i still remember that first time when we met. You were my mere competitor.and more of all i was undergoing a mental trauma and was not in any mood to socialise myself. I was trying to be happy in my own world... 

but then suddenly somehow suddenly came that day when we were sitting in the garden having nothing else to do than to watch the gymnospermic trees. it was so spontaneous the way i asked you " are you fine? You dont seem to be" and i saw a tear rolling down your eyes. it was a  serious matter and you were having a tough time. you told me Your Story and i told you mine.. and this way Our friendship started !

it dint take much time for us to become best of friends. We started sharing our World with each other. And soon you became an indispensable part of me. One who would know my every move. 

Well talking about you... i liked lots of things...  The way you talked, kept me busy, your wit, your truthful answers, the way you could present yourself.. and all the more your intelligence.. you were a fun loving person who would belive in doing all kinds of nonsense.. starting from flirting stupidly with boys to hooting boldly in the public! the most of all i liked about you was that you were a trustworthy person. Some one whome i could always turn to for correct answers. You never tried to make up things. You were Natural.."What was Right was Right and Wrong was Wrong !"

Soon i was faling for you. Not as a Lesbian but as a straight! i was in love with your personality. I wanted to be there wherever you were. I kept you my priority in my Friendship and wanted the same. But too soon i had realised that you had a world of your own and somehwere i felt ignored..

Days passed.. You used to be with me and those were the most glorious time spent. You were with me in my most dificult times. and i too wanted to solve evry inch of your problems. Lately when it was my turn and i wanted to help and i saw thatt someone was already there to do that. i was just an option. 

Since then there were many ups and downs. Frankly i was taken aback. Bcoz after whatever i had done for you i realized i wasn't as Important as i should have been. i was HURT.. i felt betrayed.. 

but i kept myself consoling that Friendship is not about counting the favors and i moved along. but this feeling grabbed me hard. Soon i started doubting you.. i don't Know where our days had gone... i tried mingling with your world but it wasn't so possible for me.. 

i never did it but i tried testing you. i didn't call you for so many days and i dint visit you. i was so much shattered when i saw that All of it didn't Matter. MY Absence didn't matter...  We did try to make things fine by conversing and sharing our problems and things were getting fine. But sooner or later it became same as earlier or probably even worse. No sign from your Side made things even more unbearable.. 

i do like you now too. but i guess its too late.. things have changed and you have moved on a LOT.. but what kills is that i still dont matter and my absence still doesn't bother you. particularly there was never a fight.. never did we break each others' trust... the secrets are still there... but there are things larger than fights.. THOSE unspoken matters and expectations... which do matter in a relationship!

Today you are not here and i don't know if you will ever be. may be someday you realise that i kept waiting. i am not blaming you at all.. may its the Situation..  or Probably i was in a Wrong place in the Wrong time...but will i ever not be noticed... Will my friendship never b paid back?